What I learned in my journey to wholeness, is that I need to be able to depend on myself. I need to know that whatever happens in my life and my relationships that I will be okay. Really loving yourself is about being good with or without someone. Really loving someone else is wanting them to feel the same way, and allowing them to be who they are in life.
My husband and I are going on trips this year without each other. He is going fishing in Alaska, and I am going to Costa Rica with my granddaughter. We were talking about this over coffee this morning and I mentioned that I would be in Central America during hurricane season. He began joking about getting more life insurance for me, and we had a good laugh about it. The truth is I know he would be heart broken if something happened to me, but then he would heal and be all right because we don't have a co-dependent relationship. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I like the way love and indepencence is writtten about in this poem by Kahlil Gibran:
Love one another, but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.