This time of year I think a lot about my mother. She is often missing in the stories I tell, and my father usually gets top billing. This isn't because she didn't influence my relationships, its just that my father was the first dysfunctional male relationship in my life and is often cast somewhere between the villain and the person who told me I could do anything if I put my mind to it.My mother was the stable parent. She was round and warm and kept us dressed and fed. I was not her favorite, and I can understand that, as I was a lot like my Dad.
When I was growing up, I made an early decision that I would never be like her. She was the one who let men and children rule her life and I always thought she could have done better. Needless to say, if you have read my earlier posts, you know that I turned out to be just like her. I picked the wrong men, made many of the same mistakes, and ended up warm and round and a bit wiser as the years have gone by.
My mother passed away over seventeen years ago. I miss her a lot. I think that we would have a great relationship once I wised up and started to become the woman I am today. Each year around Mother's Day she is on my mind more than usual and I want to honor her in this post.
So, here's to my mother. If she was here today I would not hesitate to thank her for the person she was, and the person she helped me to be. She was so strong, and loved deeply, and always tried to do the best she could for her family. She loved God, and believed she would be with him when she died, and I am sure she is. We did not share that faith, but she was certain of it and never seemed to question it.
If she was here today, she could join me tomorrow as I go to my daughter's house to share Mother's Day brunch with her and my son and grandchildren. And she would be the matriarch instead of me. I would bring her back to my house and show her the Shirley tulips I planted for her, and she would cry for joy.
What is the story of your mother today? Is there a way to tell it that makes it better or honors her more? Are there truths you need to talk about with her? This is your chance. You may not get another.