One of the reasons I decided to work on myself and learn how to have better romances, was because of a bad break-up with a man who felt very much like a soul mate.
In my coaching I find that these relationships are the hardest to get over and the hardest to understand why they didn't work. Why is it that some people meet a person who feels like home, and it works, and for others it doesn't?
I really don't know the answer to that. I am not sure there is an easy one. For me personally it was because I still had a "Broken Picker." I was still picking people who had addictions, and were wrong for me in many ways. I did learn a lot from this relationship about how much I could love someone, and still love myself enough to let them go. Difficult as this was, it set me on the path of becoming the person I am today and I am very grateful for that.
This last week I was reading the book Eat Pray Love by Elisabeth Gilbert and I found a great passage about soul mates. I am going to share it with you here:
"And please don't laugh at me now, but I think the reason it's hard for me to get over this guy is because I believed (he) was my soul mate"
"He probably was. Your problem is you don't understand what that word means. People think a soul mate is you perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But live with your soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for that."
I like this explanation. It fits right in with what happened to me. So if you are grieving the loss of a "soul mate" maybe this passage will give you comfort and set you on the path to finding yourself.